Innocence
by trekkie1214
Summary: Aria's been hiding her own secret for far too long. She has a decision to make and needs to make it now. When A takes Malcolm will she finally be put over the edge to make that decision? Rated T for now; Title may change; more details inside, it's way better than it sounds.


**AN: Thanks for checking in on my fic! I used to rite on here but took a VERY long break. Hopefully this is my comeback. This is set in Season 3 of Pretty Little Liars, spoilers up until I'm Your Puppet. Depending on what happens in the show I may or may not go along with certain aspects of the plot (while also doing my own plot). I hope you enjoy it.**

**Sorry if there are any errors in grammar or spelling. I hardly had a chance to do a final proofread. I'm about to go watch my Liars recording and eat dinner now (so you can imagine how rushed and excited I am) Please R&R! :)**

Aria liked to sit outside on days like today– it was still a little warm and cool all at once, the beginnings of autumn mingling in the air with the last of the lingering summer breezes. Most of the leaves on the trees had started to shift in hue from bright and deep greens to gentle golds and vivid reds. It used to be her favorite time of year, until Alison that is. It was days like today that she could get away from it all; all the scheming, the lying, the hiding, the secrets, the anguish... But she knew it would constantly be gnawing at her brain, always there, and always waiting. She just had to give in to it... That was easy enough.

So she sat in what seemed to be perfect peace, but was anything but, and wondered. She wondered who the torturous face behind ~A belonged to; she wondered when this misery that plagued her life would finally come to an end; she wondered if it even could. She wondered what could have brought this all on and why it continued. Didn't ~A understand that Ali manipulated the girls just as much, possibly more, than whoever was running this crazy scheme? Didn't ~A understand that the girls did what they did because of Ali, not because they wanted to? They were kids, they didn't know what to do except play follow the leader.

She let her mind drift slightly. She wondered what life would be like for Ezra now. He'd already changed so much. Well... Not _so much_. He just flew into daddy mode now and then, more often than not. It felt like he always had Malcolm and, she adored the kid but, it felt like he was slipping away from her. After last night, the whole ~A taking Malcolm thing, Aria made the decision. She couldn't allow for Ezra to get hurt, for his son to get hurt, because of her. If anyone was getting hurt it was her; the breakup was for the better.

Ezra told her to wait until tomorrow. He knew it was coming, it had come and gone so many times before with them but they'd always come back to each other. Her stomach ached with the realization that he wasn't letting her go without a fight but he'd never realize that she was already waging a silent war with herself. This breakup was better for them in so many more ways than just Malcolm's sake.

She didn't even realize that tears had been brimming in her eyes and had now pooled over the edges, streaming down her face. She quickly smeared them away with her palms and took in a shaky breath. _'__How did things get so messed up?__'_

She spared a quick glance down at her dress, noting the way the fabric clung just a bit too snugly to her stomach. She scoffed out a laugh and stood quickly, running her hands over the material to smooth out the wrinkles. She stepped off of her porch and walked to her car. She sucked in a deep breath and let her mind and body go numb before seating herself behind the wheel and clumsily jabbing her key into the ignition.

She drove for what felt like hours, but was probably only 15 minutes or so until she approached the somewhat shabby looking Trade Street, turning onto it with a sick feeling in her gut. She kept driving and driving until she passed her intended destination. She turned the corner, with a quick shake of her head, going in a circle around the block and came back around only to miss the building again. It wasn't intentional, her hands just wouldn't, couldn't, bring themselves to turn the wheel into the lot.

_'You're doing what's best,'_ she tried convincing herself. She'd come here at least twice in the past month trying to give herself the courage to go in and just_ do it_ but something kept stopping her, just like now. She approached the clinic once more and nearly made the turn when a firm voice filled her head and made her skid back into her lane.

**_'At least break it off first,'_ **Was that Alison? Was she suddenly taking the form of Aria's conscience?**_ 'You want to do what's best? What makes you better than any of the other women who screwed him over? His mother? Maggie? God, Aria, I thought you were smarter than that.'_**

_'I tried breaking up with him,'_ Aria thought back. _'He didn't understand.'_

_**'Make him.'**_

_'I am not fighting with my conscience... Or whatever this is.'_

"Aria, you're hearing things," she tried to reason with herself, gripping the wheel so tightly here knuckles turned white. "You're not in the right mindset. You're delusional. It's an imbalance or hormones or... Something."

**_'Believe what you want, but I'm always_ _right here_**,_**'**_ Ali's voice floated through her mind. Aria shook her head.

_'Gone but not forgotten.'_

Whatever that voice was it gave pause and doubt to her shady actions. She pulled over and leaned her head on the steering wheel. Was she any better than Diane Fitzgerald? Willing to hide, lie, cover up, and get rid of anything that could ever ruin the person you care for most's life? She wanted to justify her reasons so badly but whatever little explanation she once had now seemed meek and pointless. She felt a sob wrenching its way up her throat. She wrapped her arms around her stomach and took pity on herself, not for the first time as of late.

Her phone began vibrating from the cup holder in the console. Fear installed itself quickly in Aria's body. ~A hadn't messed with this, hadn't even come close to it, for nearly three months (not directly, at least). When she took a moment to gather herself she realized the phone had yet to stop its silent buzzing. She reached out her shaky hand and picked the ringing phone up from it resting spot.

Ezra.

"H-hello?" Her voice trembled, she closed her eyes and cleared her throat, trying to gain composure.

"Hi," he said quietly. She heard his concern immediately. "How are you?"

"Not doing 100%," she answered vaguely. She let out a long sigh and blinked away her remaining tears. "Ezra, I really don't-"

"Can you come over?" He asked quickly. He was sidestepping the confrontation that he knew was inevitable. Aria shook her head, knowing he couldn't see her but wanting the affirmation that she could say no, if only to herself.

"I don't... I..." She struggled to find the words she wanted when her Alison-voiced conscience came back to remind her of their previous "conversation." If she was going to do this then she had to do it right. "I'll be there in 10."

"Okay," he sighed in relief and took another moment before hanging up. Aria leaned her head on her hand, attempting to find that courage she had yet to muster, and put her car into drive.

She arrived at apartment 3B in 8 minutes. Her body was numb and her legs felt like gelatin. She was amazed that she could even walk. Her wobbly arm reached up and tapped gently on his door only to be answered seconds later.

"Hi," he sounded the same as he did on the phone, small, innocent, unsure, maybe even scared. His grey T-shirt fit him tightly, his black sweatpants clung loosely to his hips. It was a contradicting combination Aria loved and would miss dreadfully.

"Hi," Aria whispered trying not to fall into his pale blue eyes. He stepped aside and extended his arm into his apartment

"Please, come in," he led her in and shut the door behind them. He scrambled into the kitchen, quickly going to the cabinet. "Are you thirsty? I can make you some tea or coffee or..."

She smiled softly– though the tea might calm her bundled, nauseas stomach– and shook her head, watching his crestfallen expression, then walked towards the couch. He was behind her soon enough, trying to read her, anything about her. She stood quietly by the armrest of the couch, her arms were pulled in front of her, hands clasped tightly together, surveying the room. Some of Malcolm's toys were strewn across the floor, a couple toy robots and cars littered the couch; she looked almost frightened. He jumped into action, quickly picking up the clutter.

"Sorry for the mess," he muttered from beside her. She nodded as he picked up a couple of the toys. Aria stooped slightly to pick up one of the robots– she was pretty sure she left this here while babysitting the little boy last week. He liked it though, definitely more than she did, so she handed it to Ezra, who cocked an eyebrow momentarily before putting it in a small toy bin. Aria sat on the couch and pulled her legs up underneath her body, trying to find some sort of comfort in the situation. She grabbed the closest pillow and squeezed it tightly to her torso, adding extra comfort and cushioning for the impending blow.

"Ezra, you don't need to do that," she said quietly, making him look up at her from his crouched position on the floor. He chuckled to himself and set the bin aside.

"I'm sorry," he said, sitting in the chair across from her. "Malcolm was here a couple days ago after school and I just didn't get around to picking up after him." Aria nodded and folded her hands, looking down at her twiddling thumbs. Ezra leaned forward. "Aria, I wanna talk to you."

"I wanna talk to you, too," she admitted, looking up at him with vulnerable eyes. He scooted forward to the edge of his seat, trying to get closer without pushing her boundaries, and nodded.

"Okay, you first," he whispered, his own thoughts seemingly lost.

Aria tried to speak, her mouth bobbed open and shut for an undetermined amount of time. She wanted to tell him about ~A, she wanted to tell him everything she'd never told him. He looked so innocent and worried about her. But she just couldn't.

"_This_," she whispered, feeling the sting of tears behind her eyes, "This is too much."

He bowed his head, not meeting her saddened eyes with his own that surely looked the same. She waited for him to say something, anything, but no words slipped from his lips, so she continued on.

"I love you... So much," her voice shook as she tried to keep herself calm. She squeezed her eyes shut, trying to gain composure but only succeeding in making the brimming tears fall down her glowingly pale cheeks. Ezra fell out of his seat and was kneeling in front of her, pushing hair out of her face and brushing tears away. She shook her head and grabbed his wrists, pulling his hands away from her face.

"Aria, I love you, too," he looked up at her, eyes wide and shining. He almost seemed to be pleading with her even though nothing had officially been said yet.

"I know," she smiled gently, her eyes glistening with yet unshed tears. Her sympathetic smile faded, though, and she bounced her knee for a moment. "Ezra, I really, really do love you, more than anything. But I can't do this... I can't take on you, and Maggie, and Malcolm and be okay with it all. I can't be a mom at seventeen."

"I'm not asking you to be," he rushed out, shaking his own head. "Malcolm has a mom, he doesn't need another. I know I've asked a lot of you lately and that's all on me but-"

"This isn't just about... Malcolm," Aria cut him off slowly in the quietest yet audible voice she had. Ezra paused then cocked his head to the side slightly.

"I-I don't understand," he chuckled nervously, tapping his thumb against her hand. Aria's lip trembled.

_'Is he really this oblivious?'_ The frightened gleam in his eye told her he wasn't.

"I think you do," she whispered, giving him a knowing look. He hesitantly pulled his hands away from hers and stood in what seemed like slow motion. He walked into the kitchen, leaving her staring at the spot he once occupied, and leaned against the counter with his back facing her. After a few minutes of agonizing and awkward silence, he cleared his throat, though his voice still sounded like gravel.

"What are you trying to tell me, Aria?"

"I'm..." She hadn't said the word yet, not even to herself. It still felt so foreign. "I can't, Ezra."

"Aria," he near boomed. Her eyes snapped to him immediately. He had turned to face her, his eyes were wide and confused and dreading what was coming next. He breathed deep and spoke so softly she strained to understand him. "Are you pregnant?"

Aria's legs bounced, her lips trembled, and her tears streamed. She shook her head vigorously, trying with all her might to avoid this for another moment, at least, but her mouth opened and choked out, "Yes," on its own account.

Ezra exhaled deeply, his expression never changing. It was like he was frozen in time and Aria could feel herself falling apart on the couch of his tiny 1-bedroom. She didn't know what to say or do so she just sat there and waited, staring down at her teeming tummy that she now felt was the most obvious thing in the world. She felt her stomach start to churn and knew what was coming, but swallowed down any trace of nausea, covering her mouth and stomach each with a hand.

Ezra sighed and pushed himself off of the counter, pacing in his kitchen. He turned and looked at Aria, observing with perplexing interest how she clutched at her stomach even after she took her hand away from her mouth and her nausea had passed. "How could you keep this from me?"

"I'm so sorry," she mumbled, looking up at him, meeting his betrayed blue eyes with her own scared hazel ones. He just shook his head with an unbelieving laugh.

"What? You just figured I didn't need to know? Or you already knew what's best for me? Like my mom? Or Maggie 2.0?"

"Ezra, it's not like that," she choked out wadding up part of her dress in her hands, trying to occupy her nerves. "There was never a right time and-"

"Will there ever be a right time with us?" His reserved mumble struck a chord with her. She was taken aback.

"What... What is that supposed to mean?" She sniffed with narrowed eyes. When he didn't respond she simply shook her head and stood, setting her safety-pillow back in its rightful spot, wiping her tears and putting on her brave face. "It's fine, never mind. I just needed you to know that I'm taking care of it."

She walked to the door, faltering slightly in her steps, wondering if hers was the right decision. She paused with her hand on the knob when Ezra didn't move to stop her but opened it a moment later and stormed out with false determination. She was down the hall and nearly around the corner when his voice called after her.

"Aria, wait!" He was standing in his doorway, looking lost. "Please don't go yet."

Aria considered just making a run for it, her car was only a minutes jog away, but turned around and returned to his apartment when she took in his worry-ridden expression. They sat down on his couch together, their knees brushing each others lightly. Out of habit Aria grabbed one of his pillows and hugged it tightly, seeking comfort and concealment.

"Lets talk about this," Ezra sighed after another moments pause. Aria nodded and waited for his prompting. He rubbed the back of his neck nervously and folded his hands. "So... How uh... How far along are you?"

"Just over two and a half months," she said quietly, staring blankly at the coffee table.

"Two months... Wow," he breathed, his brows rising then knitting together. He turned towards her more, a look of mild insight forming in his oceanic eyes. "So that's why you couldn't tell me? Because of everything that's been going on?"

She nodded, hoping he'd truly understand. "I found out a little while after the whole 'car selling' incident," she explained, clutching the pillow tighter. "Then along came your mom, then Wes, then Maggie and Malcolm, then you left, then Wes again, then your mom again, now you're back, and everything's just been... Crazy. And that's just with you." She finished with a roll of the eyes and drawn out sigh.

"Wait," he held up his hand, trying to keep up with the story. "My mother came and saw you again? _Alone?_"

"After you got back from meeting Malcolm," Aria nodded, toying with the hem of her plaid-patterned dress. "She was guilt-tripping me into thinking that you, Maggie, and Malcolm were going to be some big happy family and I would just be shoved out. And I'm already paranoid enough, along with the hormone shift, I was distraught."

"I would never push you out of my life like that," he reached out for her knee and squeezed it lightly.

"I know," she smiled, putting her hand on top of his and rubbing gentle circles around it.

"I just don't understand," he inquired a moment later. "How did you keep this a secret for so long? Haven't you been getting sick or having mood swings, like you said? I can already see you peeking out a bit."

Aria gave a tiny grin as Ezra wiggled his finger at her baby-bumped belly, still concealed by the pillow. She pushed the pillow away and laid her hand gently in its place.

"Well," she started off, shifting her eyes as if trying to recall information, "It's been a little bit difficult. I've had to keep everything in check, wear looser clothes, longer scarfs, avoid early secret non-Vegan cravings." She couldn't help but giggle when Ezra's concerned features shifted quickly to the face of an amused 12-year-old. She brought her giggles down and carried on, "I didn't know what to say or do around you or Maggie and you can only imagine how I felt when I babysat Malcolm."

Ezra chuckled again before turning slightly more serious and nodded, "Yeah, sorry."

Aria gave his hand a squeeze and shook her hand, telling him not to worry. "My parents have been a harder subject... In a way I feel like they know. Sometimes I'll catch my dad staring at my stomach or my mom will have some sort of philosophical conversation about parenting with me. But it makes telling them even scarier. I mean, it's one thing to suspect something but it's completely different to know for sure."

"We'll figure it out," Ezra smiled, scooting closer to her.

"We?" Aria questioned optimistically. Ezra nodded and kissed her chastely, igniting a spark within her she feared she'd stomped out only 10 minutes ago.

"Always," he whispered after pulling away, only inches away from her lips. She hummed and reached her hand up to stroke his cheek softly.

"Thank you," she muttered, burying her head in his chest. Ezra pulled her legs up onto the couch so that they were draped across his and leaned her back in his arms, almost cradling her. He placed a tender kiss to her forehead and let his hand ghost along her hardly curved belly.

"There's so much I want to tell you," Ezra murmured after a moment. Aria looked up at him, shocked and confused, at first thinking he was only talking to himself.

"Tell me then," she took his hand in her own and laced their fingers together. He shook his head and turned away from her momentarily.

"It's just..." he looked back up at her, "Just know that I never wanted to drag you into all this. My mom, Maggie, Malcolm... This is... _These are_ my problems but I love you so much for sticking with me through them."

"I love you too," she shifted on his lap causing him to tighten his grip on her waist. He stopped all movement, looking her up and down, eyes lingering on her tight-dressed tummy for a moment.

"Can you promise me something?" He asked quietly; she nodded. "Just... Promise you won't 'take care of it.'"

Aria pulled farther back from him, only minutely, before blinking a few times, wondering what his motive could be. "I don't know if I can promise that. I told you I'm not sure if I can be a mom yet."

"Aria, please," he begged, his eyes wide with... fear? Trepidation? "I know you're scared and you feel like you're alone but you have to trust me– you're anything _but_ alone in this." He paused and chuckled slightly to himself. "I've realized, more these past months than anything, that I'm a grown man and it's time that I start taking responsibility for my actions. I can't keep hiding and running away and pretending things don't happen. I can't, won't, do that with you. We never have and we shouldn't."

Aria was quiet a moment more before smiling and pulling Ezra close. "Okay," she whispered into his ear. "I trust you."

"I'm sorry I said that earlier," he whispered into her hair. She took a moment to recall what he had said, realizing it was about their 'timing.' "I was just angry and confused..."

"It's okay," she squeezed him tightly and relaxed back into his embrace.

They stayed in the comfort of each others arms, Ezra gently massaging her scalp with his hair-entangled fingers while Aria nearly fell asleep to the rhythmic beat of his heart. She was awakened by the buzzing of her phone from her back pocket, eliciting a groan from her as she broke away from Ezra's grasp to retrieve it.

"Who is it?" He asked innocently, relaxing back against the couch while she situated herself next to him.

_Where'd you go? I have a surprise for you._

"It's just my dad," she smiled, texting back a quick response.

_Sorry, needed air. Be back soon._

"He was just wondering where I was," she explained further, turning back towards him. "I told him I had an upset stomach and didn't feel like going in to school today."

"I was wondering why you weren't there," Ezra pondered, looking at his clock, which read 11:37. "In that case you better get going, we don't want you in trouble."

"I think I'm in enough," Aria muttered with a roll of her eyes. He shook his head and helped her up off the couch, walking her to the door with his arm wrapped tightly around her waist.

"Call me?" He asked with raised eyebrows. Aria nodded. "We can talk some more about this. I love you."

Stepping up on her toes Aria kissed him soundly and firmly, a silent 'thank you' for his patience and understanding. "I love you, too."

When Aria finally climbed back into her car she felt as though a weight had been lifted off her shoulders. She felt lighter, freer. She put the key in the ignition and was just about to back out when her phone buzzed one more time. With a smile, wondering what her dad or Ezra or whoever could possibly need now, she lifted the phone to her eyes. The smile dropped instantly, as well as her stomach, as she read the screen:

_So glad we finally got that out there! I gave you time to make your move now it's time to make mine._

_P.S. Sounds to me like Ezzie's hiding something from you! Maybe he's not who you think he is. Too bad :( You guys could've made such a cute family!_

_~A_


End file.
